disclaimers

In accordance with the legal department at Richard Smiley Enterprises, we are obligated to tell you that we do not take responsibility for anything that may or may not happen to you as a result of reading this website. That seems vague, but due to the extreme volatility of internet law, we need you to know that we are not only not responsible for your reaction to the website, but we’re not responsible for your reaction to anything, like seeing your parents make out or calculus.

We are not medical doctors. However, any reaction, whether it be physical, emotional or allergic, should be treated with extreme urgency. The importance of proper health care should never be underestimated. If you don’t have proper healthcare or any type of health insurance, talk to your parents. They should set you up. We would set you up if we were your parents, but we’re not. We’re just a disclaimer on a fictitious website. Instead, we just suggest that you get health insurance. If you do have health insurance, that doesn’t necessarily mean you have dental insurance. You might want to look into that as well. It’s important to have dental insurance because routine checkups by a trained, certified dentist can prevent many things, including, but not limited to: halitosis, plaque build up, tartar build-up, jaundice, bleeding gums, soft tooth, tooth decay, root damage and xactly breath. In an unqualified survey done by Richard Smiley Enterprises, 1 out of 10 teenagers said that they’d prefer to kiss someone who has soft tooth. They also said they wouldn’t kiss a person with no breath, but that goes into a whole different direction and deals with things not suitable for this website.

Richard Smiley Enterprises is also not responsible for anyone who may or may not have found this website funny, offensive or entertaining. Richard Smiley Enterprises is not responsible for anyone who may have attempted a hunger strike while trying to obtain Fuel TV, nor is the Corporation responsible for those who didn’t try a hunger strike. Richard Smiley Enterprises would like to take the time right now to say that they are not responsible for anyone who read the website. They are not responsible for anyone who had the website read to them, or anyone who had someone read the website to someone else and then paraphrased it to them. Likewise, Richard Smiley Enterprises cannot be held responsible if you do not understand what we do and do not take responsibility for.

In fact, Richard Smiley Enterprises won’t take responsibility for anything. We once took responsibility for a young boy and his pet frog. Unfortunately, the frog didn’t make it and Dr. Richard was held accountable. From then on, he learned his lesson and will avoid responsibility at all cost. Just ask his cousin, Doug at 1-866-426-3835. In case you have not picked up on it, Dr. Dick is not a motivational speaker, a life enthusiast, an inspirational guru or a gardener of inner-well being. As a matter of fact, Dr. Richard Smiley isn’t anything. Including real. He is a fictitious character created by a bunch of uncreative types who may or may not have been shown enough affection as children. If you fail to understand this, that is your problem, and we cannot be held responsible for that. If you fail to find this funny, that may be our fault, but we doubt it and thus we will hold you responsible. If you don’t find any of this funny except for that last line, than you have proved us wrong and you do have a sense of humor. Congratulations. If we had door prizes you’d have just won one, but we don’t, therefore you get nothing except the knowledge that if there were door prizes you’d be receiving one.

Furthermore, Richard Smiley Enterprises, or anyone associated with it, is not held responsible for any child who resorted to the said tactics in this website while trying to get their parents to get Fuel TV. Although we applaud you for your dedication, we also think you should seek some sort of psychological review.

In case this still is not apparent, and you still think you might get a motivational CD, you won’t. In fact, Dr. Dick will not be sending you any books, CD’s, flashcards, stuffed animals, gardening tips or anything else mentioned for that matter due to a rare condition of something called “Not being real”. We may however send you something if you ask for something, but that something is up to us. Not you. The fact that you still continue to read this makes Richard Smiley Enterprises believe that you have nothing better to do with your time. Go plant a tree, or help an elderly lady cross the street, or go skating. Better yet, pick up the phone and get your parents to order Fuel TV. It’s the only 24/7 action sports channel endorsed by Dr. Dick. Well, sort of.